I understand that some people don't believe that Gay Marriage is something that is completely normal and they just can't understand it. What I don't understand is this man's view of a family. (I really do not want to share his article, but I am infuriated at his discussion and lack of insight as to what constitutes a family.)
This man thinks Leave It to Beaver is the only family style.
"Sadly, we don't always live up to this ideal, and most have experienced the trauma caused by a breaking family. However, we know of marriages that practically achieve the ideal, and we see the happiness that children find in a supportive family structure. Even though some traditional families are breaking, it doesn't mean the ideal of traditional marriage is broken."
I would really like to share my family with him. I am, as some would say, the product of a 'broken home'. However, I do not see it as a terrible thing. My life is filled with family and the amazing relationships that I have with my mom, dad, stepfather, stepmother, and my half and step siblings are something to be joyous about. Not to mention the extended family that I have who are amazing and all of my family is supportive even from the other side of the planet.
My life is rich with love.
I've learned that family is something worth fighting for, yes. But it is also what you make it. I have brothers and sisters that have never met each other (some have only on Facebook). I am an only child who has 11 siblings. My stepsister and stepbrother have beautiful children and I am happy to have been an aunt for the last 10 years and see my nieces and nephews grow up.
Some might feel that this is terrible and feel sad for me. I have had a different kind of childhood and continue to have a different kind of family, yes. But I have been told that I am a well rounded individual. I have many friends who come from two biological parent households, and to be honest, they are not always glowing examples of what Riley Balling calls the "happiness that children find in a supportive family structure." Often times, they have difficulty getting by because they are in competition with their siblings, have low self esteem, have difficulties dealing with stress, have little self-reliance, have negative views on sex, etc. This isn't to say that I have never had any problems, but to show that children who have grown up in this so-called perfect family structure are not any different than others who have not. They have the same issues that children of other kinds of families have. The key word here is 'children'. Growing up is hard work and living in a two biological parent family doesn't ensure that you will not have any problems/difficulties/issues.
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Same-sex marriage falls short of producing safe environments for children because it, at the very least, reinforces changes to the marital definition."
Who decides what a 'safe environment for children' is? I know some heterosexual couples who I have often questioned whether or not they should have a family? Questioned their parenting style, or lack of one. I knew a girl who at 19 already had 2 children (of mixed race, I'm sure Mr. Balling would have something to say about that.), and had had more than one abortion. What about the married couples who can't afford the lifestyles and the children that they already have? Mr. Balling doesn't mention these couples, because their sexuality doesn't scare him.
Children in a same-sex couple/household are not generally the result of a fling or a... surprise. Perhaps they are adopted or there is a surrogate, or artificial insemination. But in these cases, a child is prayed for, sought after and celebrated. Two loving parents? What more could a child ask for?
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Many studies show that single parents struggle to provide the safe environment provided by a two-biological-parent home."
Isn't two better than one? He describes single parents as struggling, which may be the case. Especially in this economy. In my experience, it's better to live in a household with only one parent who is happy, than in a two-parent household with both parents being unhappy. (I have experience with this, I assure you Mr. Balling).
I am nearing the end of my rant, with one last thing to say. Whether or not you like it, because I can see that Mr. Balling obviously does not, the family is changing. It is no longer only the ideal 50s style family where the wife stays home and does all the cooking and cleaning and raising the children. (If you want that, you should come to South Korea, because it seems to be much closer to that than anything we have in the US). The family is now whatever it wants to be. You cannot squash it to be what you want it to be, it grows with the time, just like children. Now it has grown up and it can be a two biological parent household, a single mother household, a single father household, grandparent/s raising children, a two mother household, a two father household, a mother and a stepfather household, a father and a stepmother household, an aunt/uncle household, etc. I'm sure that I missed one, but I assure you that I accept it as a family.
This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:
"In a full heart there is room for everything, and in an empty heart there is room for nothing." Antonio Porchia
To read an article that makes me happy to be a Minnesotan, look here:
Something I can stand behind.